Therapists can sometimes feel like they have “super powers” and want to fix things when that does not honor the goals of the clients. Putting a couple directly in to couples therapy when the therapist knows that one person is “leaning out” of the marriage, will certainly will honor the goal of the “leaning in” partner, which is the one who wants to stay in the relationship.
Many clients ask me how the Discernment Counseling process originated. In the video below, Dr. Bill Doherty discusses how a family court judge approached him with an interesting observation: some of the divorcing couples the judge worked with were approaching the divorce process with such high levels of cooperation that he wondered if their marriages were still, in fact, salvageable.
Nearly everyone enters marriage with the dream of a lifelong union. But many couples reach a crisis point where separation or divorce is on the table. Sometimes it’s after years of emotional distance, financial problems, sexual problems, constant arguing, or an affair(s).