I offer Discernment Counseling as a way for couples to pause, take a breath, and look at their options. It’s different from traditional marriage counseling aimed at improving the marriage. We don’t assume that you both want to preserve the marriage, only that you are both willing to take a look at what’s happened to your marriage and decide whether to try to repair it or move toward separation or divorce. Discernment Counseling allows the space to contemplate and discuss all options without a predetermined path towards reconciliation.

Discernment Counseling is:

  • An opportunity to gain clarity and confidence about what steps to take next,
  • To look at both sides of the problems (yours and your partner’s),
  • To determine whether past counseling has been helpful,
  • To understand the possibility of solving your problems and saving the marriage, or whether to head toward separation or divorce.

To learn more about discernment counseling, please watch my video #1 of 3 which describes Discernment Counseling:

Nearly everyone enters marriage with the dream of a lifelong union. But many couples reach a crisis point where separation or divorce is on the table. Sometimes it’s after years of emotional distance, financial problems, sexual problems, constant arguing, or an affair(s).

Nearly everyone enters marriage with the dream of a lifelong union. But many couples reach a crisis point where separation or divorce is on the table. Whatever the reason, sometimes one spouse thinks that divorce is the only way to solve the problem, while the other spouse wants to hang on and make things better. Then they fight about whether to divorce. Once the legal divorce process begins, the alienation and conflict can escalate, and before long all hope for the marriage or for a constructive divorce is gone.

Who is Discernment Counseling For?

I help couples that are considering separation or divorce but are not completely sure if it’s the right path for them, they want to take one more look before making permanent decisions with long term consequences.

It is also for couples that have made a commitment to each other but are unmarried. Discernment Counseling is for all couples, heterosexual, gay or bi-sexual couples, basically any two people who have made a long-term commitment.

What Does Discernment Counseling Involve?

I help couples decide whether to try to restore their marriage to health, move towards divorce, or take a time out and decide later. The sessions are divided between conversation with the couple together and individual conversations with each spouse. I respect each of the partner’s concerns and am there to help them review their relationship. I emphasize the importance of each party seeing his or her own contributions to the problems and the possible solutions, as this will be useful in future relationships, even if this one ends. Discernment Counseling is considered successful when people have clarity and confidence in their decision.

Read Part 2 of 2 of my Discernment Counseling blog

I work with couples and individuals in my psychotherapy and coaching practice. My clients make progress! I offer email support in-between sessions to my clients as part of our work together. Find Your Strengths at http://www.kelleyhopkinsalvarez.com. Let’s continue the “conversation”, text 203-948-0938 or email me @ kelleytherapy@icloud.com.

Thank you so much for reading my blog!

Kelley Hopkins-Alvarez, Licensed Professional Counselor, NCC, BCC
Address: 100B Danbury Road, Suite 201D, Ridgefield, CT 06877 (behind Union Savings Bank)

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