To be human is to make mistakes. What happens to you when someone you love has made a mistake and you feel like they let you down?
Are you a superb grudge holder? If yes, then you are probably proficient in “freezing” someone out for extended periods of time. I wonder, how long is your fuse? For many, their fuse with their loved ones and close friends is extremely short. Did you ever wonder why that is? It has a lot to do with human nature and also whether or not you both have learned to successfully navigate conflict in your prior and current relationships. Conflict is part of every relationship, for some, they never learn to successfully manage it and trash the relationship when problems arise. Part of being accepted in our relationships and not abandoning others is learning to fight fairly. The ability to fight fairly, which means situation specific, is essential. Specifically discussing what you are concerned about while also caring about the other person is what’s needed to successfully navigate conflict.
In order to do this, you would need to regulate your own emotions while you are discussing the conflict. This means a lot of listening, breath, pausing, space, and most important of all, tabling the discussion to another day if it’s getting out of control. Shelf your need to be right and just listen to what’s being said, as hard as that is to do, it may be the one thing that saves your relationship.
I work with couples and individual adults in my psychotherapy and coaching practice. My clients make progress! Find Your Strengths at http://www.kelleyhopkinsalvarez.com. If you are curious about whether therapy could be useful in managing better and/or lowering your pain, text 203-948-0938 or email me @ email@example.com to discuss your challenges.
Thank you so much for reading my blog!
Kelley Hopkins-Alvarez, Licensed Professional Counselor, NCC, BCC
Address: 100B Danbury Road, Suite 201D, Ridgefield, CT 06877 (behind Union Savings Bank)