Whenever I write about not personalizing others behaviors, it is like a lightening rod!
This tells me that many people feel triggered by the way other’s treat them.
I write about this regularly because it comes up daily in my sessions with clients. When you commit to making that shift toward how you are feeling toward yourself, and are not overly relying on what you think others think about you, you begin to strengthen your own mind. You cope better and are triggered less by others.
In this video, I talk more about how essential it is NOT to personalize others behaviors toward you:
Word of caution: “Do not personalize” does not insinuate that folks will become narcissistic and begin to disregard others feelings, the social cues, etc. We are trying to stay clear of extremes in our behavior. Others may try to make us feel we are to blame for their anger or outbursts but we can only control our own behavior and aren’t responsible for how others react.
I love the book, The Four Agreements, by Don Ruiz Miguel, he has a whole chapter devoted to this topic, I read the chapter at least once per year as refresher and my clients feel like this chapter is very relevant.
I work with couples and families in my Psychotherapy and Life Coaching practice in Ridgefield, CT. My clients make progress! I look forward to hearing how personalizing behaviors may exist in your life.
Licensed Professional Counselor
NCC, BCC, MS, MSEd
Find Your Strengths!
Address: 100B Danbury Road, Suite #201D
Ridgefield, CT 06877
(Building B is behind Union Savings Bank)